Coffeezilla should Investigate the Alpha Investments MetaZoo Pump and Dump

Stephen Findeisen, better known as Coffeezilla is the greatest internet detective living today, and after watching the pump and dump of MetaZoo orchestrated by Rudy of Alpha Investments, and Michael Waddell, the creator of MetaZoo over the last 3 years or so, I believe it is time for the legendary detective to begin his investigation.

MetaZoo was launched during The Everything Bubble of 2021, a time when most folks were sitting at home with a little extra cash in their pockets, thanks to Uncle Sam pushing stimulus checks and Paycheck Protection Program money into the pockets of so many Americans.

Now flushed with cash, and nothing to do with it at home, these gullible folks took the internet to watch their favorite YouTubers all day, one of which being Rudy from Alpha Investments.

Rudy is the quintessential alpha male, a product of Wall Street, and a hold nothing back kind of personality, so of course, the average neck bearded Magic: The Gathering fan is going to idolize this type of character, because he is everything they are not. Rudy loves their game, even though he doesn’t actually play it anymore, but they still love him, and gobble up all the advice he throws at them.

Rudy knows there’s no actual money to be made buying and holding any new Magic: The Gathering sets, but he created a genius level money creation system, mostly his YouTube channel, for printing unbelievable amounts of cash for himself, while pretending that the products he hocks will be worth money someday.

I do believe Rudy started out morally sound like most people do when they start something, but along the way, after realizing how stupid his fan base was, he started to take full advantage of them.

Rudy knows the bulk of his money comes from YouTube, but every now and again, a market cycle begins, a black swan event of which only comes around about every 10 years or so, and that market cycle for Rudy began in 2021.

Rudy prides himself for not having any sponsors, but this is actually not true in the grand scheme.

MetaZoo for example was in fact one of Rudy’s many sponsors over the years.

Rudy was either most likely given free boxes of MetaZoo, or paid way under retail manufacturer’s suggested cost in exchange for his unbelievable ability to push and sell products to as he calls, the Timmy’s of the world.

Taking this into consideration, let’s say Rudy did the latter and paid $50.00 per box of Nightfall: First Edition. At the time he was selling his MetaZoo Nightfall: First Edition kits to his patrons on Patreon, he was selling just 1 Nightfall box with a Rudy, The Hunchback of Jacksonville promo card now worth $25.00 for $820.00 per kit.

I could only assume Rudy received his promo cards from MetaZoo for free as a gift slash incentive to pump this crap to his audience in the hopes of dumping it all on them, so assuming this is true, Rudy made roughly $770.00 per Nightfall kit before shipping and taxes were deducted. So let’s assume it was an even $700.00 of profit for every kit he sold.

Fast forward to today, and anyone who purchased just one Nightfall Rudy kit would have lost $755.00 on their initial investment, a mind boggling 92% loss!

In the end, Rudy’s patrons did in fact receive a product, so this does make the situation here different, compared to say a Logan Paul scamming his victims out of millions of dollars via his CryptoZoo scam, which I am totally not blind to in my assessment by the way… but does this mean Rudy is off the hook?

I personally knew the day Rudy and Mike dropped that creepy interview on Rudy’s YouTube channel pertaining to MetaZoo during a sleepover at Rudy’s house back in the day that MetaZoo was not investible. I’ve seen and heard way too many Mike Waddell type characters in my lifetime to know when I see a bad egg, especially considering Mike’s childish behavior of silencing anyone who had legitimate criticisms towards his so called “collectible card game”.

MetaZoo is now officially no more, so the amount of money that Rudy is responsible for everyday people losing via investing in MetaZoo to date is no doubt astronomical. To be fair though, assuming Rudy is telling the truth, he too has some losses under his belt thanks to MetaZoo.

Going back to what I wrote above, assuming Rudy paid way under retail manufacturer’s suggested cost for all his boxes, he did say that he had about 1 pallet of every MetaZoo set left in his personal inventory.

Now, let’s use Nightfall: First Edition boxes as an example again for simplicity sake, and assume he paid $50.00 per box, and they are now $25.00 per box, so he took a 50% loss on his own personal stake, but… the difference between your average Timmy compared to a Rudy of Alpha Investments is that one, Rudy is rich, and two, Rudy will simply claim his losses as depreciation via a tax write-off because in the end… it’s just a business for Rudy.

Anyway, that’s all got. Hopefully Coffeezilla will look into all this. If not, oh well.

Oh, and before I go, what’s up with that Umu slash Mtglion kid?

Is that boy retarded or something?

Plus, why does he always feel the need to emphasize that he has a significant (udder) other, and mentions his “girlfriend” that we never actually see like 20 times per video? If he thinks this makes us think that he’s not gay, I just wanted to let him know… that it’s definitely not working.